I see it all the time, stay at home parents taking heat from people who say they have it easy and don’t actually work. Articles about the stay at home parent vs the working parent. Who has it worse, Who does more. I have had this conversation with my husband several times. It’s hard for one side to really know what the other goes through unless they have been in their shoes. My husband has never been the stay at home parent.
I have worked and done 100% of everything at home in my off time because of my husbands hours. It’s hard. I have never done his job though. I don’t know what it’s like to literally be in his shoes. I know he works hard. I know his job is stressful. I know at times his job can be dangerous. I am proud of the job my husband does and that he is among countless others who are brave enough to do what they do. That being said, I don’t think he truly understands what it’s like to be in my shoes either. How stressful things can get sometimes being the one staying home. How there really is no “off” time when you are a stay at home parent.
I think we need to all stop asking who has it worse. I think we all need to stop talking about who’s role is more important. Everyone’s role in a family is equally important. At the end of the day I think we should all just work on showing our significant other that we appreciate what they do. If we took the time we are using to argue to just show how important both roles are I think we would all be a lot happier.
Every job is different. Someone can work in the same position that you do and maybe where they work it’s a more stressful environment. Maybe it’s not. Everyone also deals with things differently. Something that may not get to you affects someone else differently. Things that stress you out may not stress someone else out. You can try to explain to someone all day long why your role in your family can be hard at times but the truth is that they can’t possibly 100% understand where you are coming from. Especially if they have never been in that position but even if they have they are not you.
We should absolutely try to understand where our partners are coming from but also realize that we probably will only be able to understand a certain percentage of it. We should 100% be supportive of each other and be showing each other appreciation. We all go through things and we all have equally tough roles in our families. We all deserve to be equally appreciated for the things we do for our families as well.
You can show appreciation in so many ways. Just by verbally telling your partner that you appreciate them and why. Doing something special for them on a random day just because. Maybe you are the stay at home parent and you have everything that needs to be done that day finished before your partner gets home. That way they can just sit and relax. If you are the working parent you can take over a chore or two that needs to be done to take the load off of your partner. Sometimes its nice to not have to do it all, and sometimes its nice to not have to do anything at all after a long day.
The stresses of both a working and stay at home parent are equally real. They should be equally important too in order to keep a great and happy relationship. Just dont forget to show your partner how much everything they do in the family means. No matter what your role in your family, just remember that it is important. It does matter and you ARE appreciated!